Dragon Boat Festival

Fang Xuanchao has lately been fond of the phrase “almost the same,” which has become his catchphrase, deeply ingrained in his thoughts. Initially, he said “exactly the same,” but feeling it was a bit too absolute, he opted for “almost the same,” a phrase he’s stuck with.

Since he latched onto this unremarkable adage, it has sparked many new reflections, yet it has also brought him a sense of solace. For example, he used to be incensed when he saw the elderly bullying the young, but now he reassures himself that when these young people grow old and have their own offspring, they will likely act similarly, and thus, he feels a sense of equilibrium. Similarly, he used to be upset when he witnessed soldiers mistreating rickshaw drivers, but now he reasons that if the rickshaw driver were a soldier and vice versa, they would probably treat each other the same way, and he no longer lets it bother him. Sometimes, he wonders if this mindset isn’t just a cowardly way to avoid confronting the ills of society, a path that skirts the issue of morality, but this notion continues to take root in his mind.

He first introduced his “almost the same” doctrine publicly at a lecture in Beijing’s Shou Shan School. The discussion was likely about historical matters, and he spoke about the closeness of people across different eras, the similarity in human nature, and eventually, he drew parallels between students and bureaucrats, launching into a passionate discourse:

“In today’s society, it’s trendy to criticize bureaucrats, especially among students. However, bureaucrats are not a unique breed; they emerge from the ranks of the common people. There are many bureaucrats who started as students, so what distinguishes them from the old guard? ‘In their shoes, we would act the same,’ their thoughts, words, actions, and demeanor show little difference… Even the new initiatives started by student groups have not been without their issues, most of which have already faded away. It’s almost the same. But this is what concerns me for the future of China…”

Among the two dozen or so listeners in the lecture hall, some looked pensive, perhaps agreeing with his words; others appeared indignant, feeling he had insulted the sanctity of youth; a few even smiled at him, perhaps thinking he was justifying his own position as a bureaucrat.

But they were all mistaken. This was merely a new form of his discontent, a complacent and empty argument. He himself didn’t know if his reluctance to act was due to laziness or futility, but he saw himself as someone who was content with his lot and unwilling to stir up trouble. The Minister of Education wrongly accused him of being mentally ill, but as long as his position was secure, he wouldn’t utter a word; even when his teaching salary was overdue for half a year, he would remain silent unless there was another official income to support him. He not only kept silent but also secretly disapproved when teachers united to demand their pay, finding their clamor excessive. It was only when he heard his colleagues mocking them that he felt a twinge of resentment, which he later dismissed, perhaps because he was short on cash while others who were officials did not also teach.

Despite his financial struggles, he never joined the teachers’ collective action to strike. The government’s stance was “pay only for classes attended,” which he found somewhat insulting, like using fruit to tease a monkey. It was only when a prominent educator remarked that “teachers demanding pay while holding a book bag is not a noble act” that he officially vented his frustrations to his wife.

“Hey, why are there only two dishes?” he asked during dinner one day, after hearing the educator’s “not noble” comment.

His wife, not educated in the modern sense, had no scholarly name or title, so he simply used the word “hey” to address her. She, in turn, had no specific term for him, and when she spoke facing him, he knew by convention that she was speaking to him.

“But the half we received last month is already gone… And the rice from yesterday was only obtained with great difficulty on credit,” she said, standing by the table.

“You see, you still think it’s petty for teachers to ask for their salary. It seems this person doesn’t even understand the basic fact that people need to eat, rice is required to cook food, and rice must be bought with money…”

“That’s right. How can you buy rice without money, and how can you cook without rice…”

His cheeks puffed up as if annoyed by her answer, which mirrored his own views, almost as if she were simply echoing him. He then turned his head away, a sign that he was ending the discussion.

On a cold and rainy day, after the teachers were beaten by the national army in the mud in front of Xinhua Gate for demanding their overdue salaries, they were finally paid a small amount. Fang Xuanchao effortlessly received his money, settled some old debts, but still lacked a significant sum, as the bureaucrats too had delayed payments. At that time, even the so-called clean officials began to see the necessity of demanding their salaries, and Fang Xuanchao, who was also a teacher, naturally expressed more sympathy for the academic community. Although he was not present when the decision to continue the strike was made, he later wholeheartedly supported the collective decision.

However, the government eventually paid, and classes resumed. But a few days earlier, the student union had submitted a petition to the government stating, “If the teachers do not teach, do not pay the overdue salaries.” Although this had no effect, Fang Xuanchao suddenly remembered the government’s previous statement, “pay only for classes attended,” and the concept of “almost the same” flashed before his eyes again, refusing to fade away. As a result, he publicly expressed this view in his lecture.

Based on this, it’s clear that if the “almost the same” philosophy were to be elaborated, it could be seen as a form of discontent driven by personal motives, but it cannot be said to be a defense for his own position as an official. Yet, every time such situations arose, he often liked to bring up issues concerning the future of China, and without realizing it, he began to see himself as a patriot concerned for the country’s fate: people often suffer from a lack of self-awareness.

However, the reality of “almost the same” happened again. The government initially ignored the troublesome teachers but later also disregarded the seemingly insignificant officials, delaying payments and forcing some of the officials who had previously looked down on the teachers for demanding money to become fierce advocates for their own salary. Only a few newspapers published articles mocking and ridiculing them. Fang Xuanchao was not surprised or bothered by this, as he believed, based on his “almost the same” philosophy, that it was because the journalists had not yet lacked a bribe, and if the government or the wealthy stopped their subsidies, they would likely hold a big meeting as well.

Having expressed sympathy for the teachers’ salary demands, he naturally also supported his colleagues in their pursuit of their own pay. However, he remained seated in his office, not joining them in their efforts to collect their debts. If someone suspected him of being aloof, it was a misunderstanding. He himself said that since his birth, only people had come to him to collect debts, and he had never gone to collect debts from others, so this was not his forte. Moreover, he was most afraid to meet people who held economic power. When such people lost their power and began to lecture on Buddhism with a copy of “The Great Vehicle’s Origin of Faith,” they might appear amiable, but while they were in power, they always had a stern face, treating others as servants, believing they held the power over the lives of the poor. Because of this, he dared not and did not want to meet them. Although this temperament sometimes seemed aloof even to himself, he often suspected that it was actually a sign of incompetence.

As everyone continued to demand their debts, they managed to get by, but compared to before, Fang Xuanchao was indeed in a tight financial situation. The servants and the stores he dealt with, not to mention Mrs. Fang, gradually lost their respect for him. This was evident in her recent lack of agreement, her tendency to voice original opinions, and her abrupt actions. On the morning of the fourth day of the fifth lunar month, as soon as he returned home, she thrust a stack of bills in front of his nose, which was unusual.

“In total, we need one hundred and eighty yuan to cover the expenses… Has it been issued?” she asked without looking at him.

“Humph, I won’t be an official tomorrow. The money voucher has been received, but the representatives of the salary strike won’t issue it, first saying that those who didn’t go together won’t be issued, and later saying that it must be personally received in front of them. They’re holding the voucher today, and they’ve become the face of the king of hell, and I really can’t bear to see it… I don’t want the money anymore, and I won’t be an official anymore, such an unlimited humiliation…”

Mrs. Fang, seeing his rare indignation, was somewhat taken aback but then calmed down.

“I think it’s better to go and receive it personally, what do you think?” she said, looking at his face.

“I won’t go! This is an official salary, not a reward, and it should be delivered by the accounting department according to the rules.”

“But what if it’s not delivered… Oh, I forgot to mention last night, the children said that the school has urged several times about the tuition, saying that if it’s not paid again…”

“Nonsense! The father works and teaches without pay, and the son goes to school and wants money?”

She felt that he was no longer very concerned with reason and seemed about to vent his anger on her as if she were the principal, which was not worth it, so she stopped talking.

The two ate lunch in silence. After a moment of thought, he went out again, annoyed.

Following the old custom, in recent years, he must come home at midnight the day before the festival or the end of the year, walking and reaching into his pocket, shouting loudly, “Hey, it’s here!” Then he would hand her a stack of brand new Zhongjiao tickets, with a proud look on his face. But on the fourth day, he broke the routine and came home before seven o’clock. Mrs. Fang was very surprised, thinking that he had actually resigned, but upon secretly observing his face, she saw no particularly unfortunate expression.

“What’s wrong? … So early?…” she said, looking at him.

“It’s too late to issue, can’t be issued, the bank has closed, have to wait until the eighth.”

“Personal receipt?…” she asked anxiously.

“The personal receipt part has been canceled, it’s said that it will still be delivered by the accounting department. But the bank has closed today, resting for three days, and we have to wait until the morning of the eighth.” He sat down, looked at the ground, took a sip of tea, and then slowly said, “Fortunately, there’s no problem in the office, and we should have money on the eighth… Borrowing money from unrelated relatives and friends is really a difficult thing. I went to see Jin Yongsheng with a stiff head in the afternoon, talked for a while, he first praised me for not demanding a salary, not personally receiving it, very noble, a person should do so; when he knew that I wanted to borrow fifty yuan from him, it was as if I had stuffed a big handful of salt in his mouth, every place on his face that could wrinkle wrinkled, said how the rent is hard to collect, how the business is losing money, receiving the money in person in front of colleagues is nothing, and immediately sent me out.”

“So urgent a festival root, who is still willing to lend money?” Mrs. Fang said lightly, without much enthusiasm.

Fang Xuanchao lowered his head, feeling that this was not surprising, and besides, he and Jin Yongsheng were very distant. He then remembered the matter of the New Year’s Eve last year, when a fellow townsman came to borrow ten yuan, and he had clearly already received the voucher for the official salary from the office at that time, because he was afraid that this person might not pay back the money in the future, he put on a difficult look and said that the office could not get the salary, and the school did not pay the salary, really “helpless,” and sent him away empty-handed. Although he did not see what kind of face he put on, he felt very embarrassed at this time, his lips moved slightly, and he shook his head.

However, not long after, he suddenly seemed to have a sudden realization and ordered the servant to go to the street immediately to buy a bottle of lotus white on credit. He knew that the store would not dare not to give credit, hoping to get more money back tomorrow, and if they did not give credit, then they would not get a penny tomorrow, which was their due punishment.

The lotus white was actually bought on credit, he drank two cups, and his pale face turned red, after eating, he was quite happy. He lit a large Hademen cigarette, grabbed a copy of “Trial Collection” from the table, and lay on the bed to read.

“So, how to deal with the store tomorrow?” Mrs. Fang caught up, stood in front of the bed, and looked at his face.

“The store? … Teach them to come in the afternoon of the eighth.”

“I can’t say that. They won’t believe it, they won’t agree.”

“What’s there not to believe. They can ask, no one in the whole office has received it, and they all have to wait until the eighth!” He pointed his second finger in the air inside the canopy and drew a semicircle, and Mrs. Fang followed his finger and saw a semicircle, and saw his hand turn to open the “Trial Collection.”

Mrs. Fang saw that he was so unreasonable beyond common sense, and could not speak for a while.

“I think, this kind of situation can’t continue, and in the future, we will have to think of a way, do something else…” She finally found another way and said.

“What way? I ‘neither a scribe nor a firefighter’, what else can I do?”

“Haven’t you written articles for the bookstore in Shanghai?”

“The bookstore in Shanghai? Buying manuscripts is calculated one by one, spaces are not counted. Look at the vernacular poetry I wrote there, how many blanks there are, I’m afraid it’s only worth three hundred dollars a book. Collecting copyright fees has no news for half a year or six months, ‘far water can’t save the near fire’, who is patient.”

“Then, for the newspaper office here…”

“For the newspaper office? Even in a big newspaper office here, I rely on a student who is an editor there, a thousand words is just a few of these, even if I do breakfast until night, can I support you? Moreover, I don’t have so many articles in my stomach.”

“What to do after the festival?”

“After the festival? — still be an official… Tomorrow when the store comes to ask for money, you just say the afternoon of the eighth.”

He wanted to read the “Trial Collection” again. Mrs. Fang was afraid of missing the opportunity, and hurriedly said:

“I think, after the festival, on the eighth, we… It’s better to buy a lottery ticket…”

“Nonsense! To say such an uneducated…”

At this moment, he suddenly remembered the matter after being sent away by Jin Yongsheng. At that time, he walked past Daoxiang Village in a daze, saw many large characters on the advertisement at the door of the store saying “the first prize is tens of thousands of yuan,” and seemed to remember that his heart moved, or maybe he slowed down, but it seemed that because he was reluctant to spend the only sixty cents left in his wallet, he resolutely walked away. His face changed, and Mrs. Fang thought he was angry at her uneducated, so she quickly retreated and did not finish speaking. Fang Xuanchao also did not finish speaking, stretched his waist, and read the “Trial Collection” in a humming voice.

(June 1922.)